A TRUE Michigander WHEN:
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
You can identify a southern, eastern or Chicago accent.
You consider Minneapolis exotic.
"Vacation" means going up north past US75 for the weekend.
Down South to you means Indiana.
You know how to polka.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at a local party store at any given time.
A brat is something you eat.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
You go out to fish fry every Friday.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit and You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout
Foxworthy on Michigan
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan..
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan..
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Michigan..
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan..
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan..
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan..
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan..
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Michigan..
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Michigan..
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan..
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan..
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Michigan..
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters," you might live in Michigan.
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